| I found this again recently now that I have a way around the Chinese firewall. Bizarre. I should probably work on taking this down before I get a Real Job.
It was a little sad to read all the way back through to the 2004 entries. It reminded me how hard I thought those times were, and how hard the last three years have been too- especially when 2004 me has no idea what's going to happen in 2007. But I must say- I was SUPER whiny and emo just three years ago. I probably still am but don't write about it as much.
I hope everybody that still uses this is doing well.
All my love,
Sigma | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment   |
| this is my last day of work
before i leave for new jersey
and tomorrow morning
i get on a plane
for 13 and a half hours
to beijing
and then i will wait in the airport for 3 hours
for my 2 hour flight
to chengdu
which means
i will be
IN CHINA
......
THE END | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| this is seriously a problem.
i've stayed away from shows like 'grey's anatomy' and 'lost' because...i don't know why. if the advertising wasn't enough to get me involved, what else would? well, because phil likes LOST, loves it even, begged me to watch it...and because my roommate loves it and has tried numerous times to make me watch it...i caved. peer pressure is a dangerous thing.
six episodes later and i STILL don't like the show.
...but i can't stop watching it.
In other news, Cat has returned to GarouMUSH. I'm having a blast, and so is my roommate. Karina's never had so much reason to tease me. I've made two or three futile attempts to explain both premise of game and how such games are played to her, but after about five minutes in my voice trails off, we look at each other and burst out laughing. It's okay though. My eyes glaze over the same way when she talks about her boyfriend's glass. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| So, supposedly things are going to improve. Mary Ellen promised to talk to me at greater length and that I wasn't going to be fired, but instead, was very valued. I still have my doubts but it's something, so let's see how January goes. If that's all right, February will be easy (not here for most of it) and then I really only have March and April and May. I will probably quit in May (since my lease ends, and I'll be busy figuring out where I'll be going next year.)
Read on if you're not offended by female bodily functions.
( Read more... )
I feel like I'm starting to forget the reasons I'm in a long distance relationship. I need to keep working harder, that's all. I love Phil, and we've come so far to be together. The distance is difficult but it's good for us too. We're both growing, even if he's going a little faster than I am. Next year will be my big year. Next year will be my chance to find something new and exciting, something challenging. Looks like Japan, Israel, India, or the Philippines for me.
Not too much to report, really. Trying to take it easy, do the things I need to get done, and politely refuse the many favors and requests I've been getting. I wouldn't be hesitant to oblige if people didn't ask me for something every single day. Especially when it's stuff like having holes in your boxers. Um...sorry, I don't feel like taking you to the mall to get new ones. Aren't there supposed to be holes in boxers anyway? And you have FREE LAUNDRY. (logic breaks)
Hope everyone's having a good day. :) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Oh wow, you guys rock!
I'm not going to get into every reason I hate my job, but I'll go into some big ones.
The girl I was hired with (we started the same day) is three years older than me and has 7 years in admin-office type work, so she's a whiz at this stuff. Unfortunately, she was made my supervisor 3 months ago, and she ceased to be enjoyable to work with. She has intimidated me into eating lunch at my desk (when I eat lunch) and not ever leaving the office, while she takes hour or longer lunch breaks with her mother. She has paid vacation days long before either of us were eligible, while I was admonished for attending religious services during the High Holy Days (after I had gotten permission). She has harrassed me to the point of tears when the office is empty except for us. I couldn't report to the CEO or CPO what she does because they absolutely adore her (they take her out for lunch, go shopping with her, call her for advice etc), so it's made the office a very uncomfortable place for me.
The work I do is not the work I was hired to do. I was hired to create a marketing campaign with a group of clubhouse kids as the focus of the campaign. This was an exciting prospect to me. Instead, I print out event invitations or signs. I sit behind a desk for 8 hours a day on the Internet looking for grants, then write grants and wait to be yelled at because they make me ask for 120% of what the grant offers and don't understand why we get denied. I stuff envelopes or write grants or create the occasional program for a board meeting. I run errands to CVS or Staples. I am basically an in-house desktop publisher. None of this work takes much intelligence. Whenever I try to help out in meaningful ways (programmatic ideas, or fundraising ideas) I am either ignored or told "you don't know how it works here". There is a lot of money being wasted and a lot of potential lost because of various practices, and the very fact that I can't even share this information is infuriating. I have since stopped volunteering ideas.
So I don't like who I work with, and I don't like what I do...the last straw is that I'm not learning anything. This job teaches me no skills, other than meeting deadlines and getting up in the morning. The few experiences I feel have changed my outlook or "broadened horizons" have been the rare interactions with actual kids. I think the Boys & Girls Club is really needed in a place like Lancaster. Urban youth have got it hard, and this organization helps them grow. But I'm not part of that growth except in a very, very, very tangential way.
I have 3 new rules for testing if a job is compatible:
1) If you like who you work with but not what you do, it's okay.
2) If you like what you do, but not who you work with, it's okay.
3) If you don't like what you do, or who you work with, but you're learning something, it's okay.
For some reason working at the mall seemed enticing, simply because of how awful the Club is, but again, I've never worked outside of College (and now here). I will take everyone's advice though, and avoid retail. There is a new restaurant opening up around the corner from my house, so I am going to see if I can find out when they are hiring; they haven't finished remodeling yet so it will be some time. I would love to be a bartender!! ...I just don't have any bartender training. Oops.
In the meantime, I have been working on other jobs, albeit for next year. I've sent in my application for JET, to teach English in Japan, and I am currently working on a Peace Corps application. I have also got my eye on a couple fellowships for Israel + India, and some other teach English in Korea/India/Thailand/China jobs, but this is all for May 2007-onward.
I am going to try to hang in till the end of January, but I will submit some job applications around Lancaster during that time too. In February I go to China to visit Phil for 16 days and hopefully when I get back, I'll have some people interested in seeing me for a new job. Then if I'm lucky, I can start somewhere else in March and just hang on somewhere in Lancaster until May or so.
I guess I'm just disappointed that I didn't have a good experience. It will be hard to convince future employers that "it was the job, not me!" But thank you, to everyone, for your feedback and your encouragement!! I feel a lot better about the whole process now.
Hopefully I will last until February. That's only 6 more weeks... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| So here I am, world. At my very first Big Kid job. Working for the Boys & Girls Club of Lancaster.
I have never been more miserable in my life.
College was hard. College was rough. Sometimes I hated it. But I didn't wake up every morning wanting to quit school, wanting to leave. I worked really hard so that I could stay. I fought so that I could stay. Not the case at all, here.
I've been very reluctant to discuss this because the people I talked to about it most (my mother and Phil) kept saying, "try harder. Give it time. It's your first job. It'll get better." And I wanted to make them proud, so I kept at it. But after 6 months I think it's fair to come to the conclusion that it's not getting better, time isn't improving things, and trying harder has not made anything better, it just made me everyone's bitch. While the pay is all right, Something absolutely has to change.
I'm too tired to get into details, but I will eventually, because I do want honest opinions...
When is enough enough?
Anyone else have a bad first job experience? What did you do to improve things?
Has anyone ever worked in retail? And liked it? (This might be my only option if I leave the Club.)
Sigh. Well...it's already 2pm. Quitting time is only 3 and a half hours away. Did I mention that I have learned to make sweet sticky coconut rice? Yeah. The world is getting better. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| Threadless.com
t-shirts? t-shirts are amazing.
check out "haikus are easy". you might see yours truly pictured in the gallery...holding a pint of ice cream and standing in the freezer. i swear it makes sense. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Security: | | | Subject: | update | | Time: | 03:19 pm |
|
| (note to self: what if i only did this once a year?)
it is my birthday.
i am 21 years old.
this means i'm ordering something at a bar for dinner tonight. perhaps a margarita, my mother's suggestion, "with just a spoonful of tequila."
she also hinted strongly that i owe her big time, considering the painful labor she endured to birth me.
....yeah.
sorry about that, mom.
gonna be a good day today. bye kids.
<3sigma | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
sigma0's journal
awake